Nollywood actress Stella Damasus has had her share of negativity and criticism in the past years. In this new post on her blog, she shares her personal tips of dealing with haters and trolls.
People have asked me over the years how I have handled the criticisms, trolls, negative comments, media bashing and crazy insults. I have put together 20 of the most effective methods that have helped me. I hope you find them useful.
1. Acknowledge the fact that haters thrive on Hate. It is a negative attribute/trait which kills internally and fast.
2. If you claim to be a positive person, don’t waste your time dwelling on the negative.
3. You need to understand the fact that these people are HURTING within themselves. They need to escape from that hurt or take it out on someone.
4. Don’t let them drag you into their HATE HOLE. If you hate them back then you have become exactly like them. Your loss.
5. You cannot control what people do or say, but you can control how you react to it.
6. INTERNET TROLLING is a very addictive habit. Instead of making them important, see them as addicts who desperately need rehabilitation. Addiction is a silent killer.
7. Don’t waste your time getting angry at people who don’t even know you. It is not logical to allow strangers feed off your anger. They are not worth your emotions.
8. Most times, people who make the loudest noise need attention. They can never be relevant without it. Don’t be the one to make them popular by responding.
9. Get used to the fact that FREE social media has given even the most ignorant and jobless person a platform to speak his ignorance and lash out.
10. Rage is such a powerful life consuming emotion. It takes a lot of pain and anger to spit out VENOM, especially on people they don’t know. Your HATERS feel that they are hurting you when they say ugly things to you but they don’t realize how deep their pain has eaten into them. Pray for them because they are in pain and their hearts are deeply troubled. Remember that they may not realize this until it’s too late.
11. Your HATERS are mostly people who follow you and monitor all you do, so they can have opportunities to attack you. Guess what? You are more important to them than they are to you. You are being followed, but they are the ones doing the following. Who should have the upper hand?
12. The more they talk, the more you should RISE. Their negative comments should become your driving force to succeed and do more. The more you rise the more difficult it becomes for them to keep up. If they STOP harassing you, the RAGE MIGHT destroy them so they need you to SURVIVE.
13. Nothing can change their minds about you regardless of the amount of work you do to try and impress them. Focus on more important things, not how to change their mind. They don’t know you so what do they want to hate? They think they hate you because of their PAIN but their thoughts often lead them to more pain and destruction. Do you really want to get involved in all of that?
14. If they had more important things to do, they will not have the time to look for you, follow you, read your posts or look at your pictures, watch your videos then plan and construct their HATE comments. Trust me, this takes a lot of time and energy. If YOU had more important things to do, you will not have the time to look for the haters and you certainly will not have time to respond to all of them. Make them feel like you don’t even know they exist, neither do you see or acknowledge their comments. After a while, they get tired of trying to get at you.
15. If you were not relevant or making an impact, you will not have HATERS. What do you really want? Be less than average and not have any haters or be very successful, important and attract HATERS.
16. Your HATERS want what you have, they want the life that you have but can’t have it. Their reaction to this realization is to HATE YOU. By letting their comments torment you, it means you are accepting the fact that their unimportant life is your fault.
17. It is better to be talked about than to be the one who does the talking.
18. People hate what they don’t understand. When they can’t decipher the reason behind your success or happiness they will HATE YOU. Be happy that you have something they want. Always remember to thank God because it’s not the other way round.
19. Try not to respond to comments when you’re angry. Whatever you say at that point will be out of anger and this will make you seem worse than the HATER. They always try to provoke you to respond so that you condescend to their level. Resist the temptation to fire back at them with your own words.
20. Whatever you feed more will grow more. Don’t feed the haters by paying attention to them. Let them starve because you will not feed them with your time and attention. Guess what happens to a starved troll… When you get uncomfortable, simply DELETE COMMENT, BLOCK THE USER OR REPORT THE ACCOUNT.